In coaching we have a number one rule we give our clients, which is: “You have to fill your pitcher before you can pour.”

What does this mean to you (i.e. activities you like; taking a bubble bath with the door closed so your children can’t come in;  exercising….etc.? I would love your input.

Dear Friends,

Imagine what it would be like to have a one on one coaching session with an experienced certified life coach. One who can help you work through what can be quite a challenging and anxiety provoking time with children returning to school, or moving back in.… and you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home!

You’re curled up in your pjs  …sipping a hot or cold beverage, depending on where you are, discussing how you can pass these transitions with grace and ease, having opportunity knocking at your door…

To help you through this difficult time, I have a special offer for the beginning of the New Year:

10% off a package of 4 coaching sessions ($260 value)

This is a unique opportunity for:

 

•       Anyone looking to move out of their comfort zone to soar to great heights

 

•      Those whose children have fled the nest and are looking to recreate themselves for the next wonderful half of their lives.

•       Those who have the challenge of doting parents who cannot let go.

•      Those who have had their children move back in, (boomerang phenomena) and now have to readjust and draw boundaries.

•       The sandwich generation.

This is an opportunity too good to pass up. You and I will have a 30-minute complimentary discovery session to make sure this is the right step for us to take to move you forward. There is absolutely no pressure or commitment.

This offer is good until Jan 31, 2012.  Don’t waste another precious moment of your life!  Call me at (860)922-9980 to schedule your free discovery session.

Please “Like” this to share with your friends. You will be entered to win a FREE coaching session (valued at $65).

Contact me at evelyn@emptynesterlifecoaching.com, or (860) 922-9980

Visit my website at http://emptynesterlifecoaching.com

 

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy and productive New Year.

Inspiration is wonderful when it happens, but the writer must develop an approach for the rest of the time.  Leonard Bernstein  I am grateful for the beginning of a New Year to inspire and move my clients forward. May this be the beginning of reaching for the stars, and landing right where you are meant to be.

Hello new friends and old!

It’s been awhile since I have written anything, as I have been busy transitioning my coaching business. I am filled with grattitude and excitement, to be able to begin the newest transformation in my life. Though I am trained and certified, to  coach the general public, I have created a new niche for myself. As an empty nester, I would love to announce my newest child  to the world. I am now, the Empty Nester Life Coach. Here are my thoughts, which I would love to share.

 We can acknowledge that this is a very difficult passage and let ourselves feel whatever emotions come to surface. This will be the catalyst to allow us to move forward. (And we thought giving birth was painful)!

As opposed to the birthing process, which we spent roughly 9 months preparing for and looking forward to, we
are never prepared to watch our children fly the coop. It is for some, a grief issue; for others, a fear that they will not be able to reconnect with their spouses.

It is a gift we give ourselves to allow these feelings to emerge, and then move
on. Or, as one of my favorite coaches said, “Grow on.” Let’s all hang out here
and support one another, in a safe, nonjudgmental, environment. We can throw out
ideas to support one another during this free time. The choices are endless:
Create new hobbies, new friends, new work, and education. Allow ourselves to
enjoy pastimes that we did not have the luxury to do while raising our
wonderful, magnificent, children, etc. etc. I would love to hear from you! You can visit me at my new site, http://emptynesterlifecoaching.com

Or join my free forum at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/emptynestercoaching/message/3

Believe, Trust, Succeed,

With warm blessings,

Evelyn

I am grateful for my wonderful instructor from ICA, who still mentors me when I am in need.

I am sharing this present in lieu of a quote.  I received it from my magnificent ICA instructor, Coach Karen Cappello, who acquired it from another life coach. http://www.robinsharma.com/personal-development.htm This will help anyone in the midst of life or who is going through transitions in life.

Please feel free to check it out for some really awesome feel good vibes. I hope you are enjoying the beginning of your new commitments.

All  the best for an amazing productive year in reaching your goals and improving relationships.

Coach Evelyn

http://youcandoitlifecoaching.com/

I am grateful to be alive. I have not been writing for awhile as I was not coming up with any inspiring thoughts. I do not like to write just for the sake of keepiing my blog up to date.

Our minds have the need to “know.” When we don’t know, we make assumptions – they make us feel safer than not knowing. And we are pretty much always making assumptions. We assume that we know how someone is going to react to us. We assume that our efforts will or will not be successful. And not only do we believe our assumptions about what other people are thinking, but then we end up taking those assumptions personally and even end up resenting the person. To avoid assumptions, ask questions. It takes courage to trust the present moment, to allow other people to be exactly who they are, and to let life unfold according to its own plan… and it avoids a great deal of suffering.
-Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements [agreement 3: Don’t make assumtions}

 

I was running late to an appointment today and got stuck behind a very slow-moving vehicle. I was getting frustrated and then I saw the brakelights go on at an intersection with a green light. I started getting hot and looked for a way around. Good thing I wasn’t able to scoot around because there came an ambulance with the lights on and a screaming sirene.That slowed me down. I would have been in a terrible accident.

Judgement and assumption can get us into trouble if we are not careful. I did a coaching workshop a few months ago and the subject was “What lives in your heart”? I had the participants do an exercise by drawing a heart and filling it in with different emotions to describe what lives in their heart. Them Then I had them erase the negative emotions. It is amazing when we get rid of the assumption and judgement of others how easy it is to make room for positive emotions, which leads us to freedom.

The woman in transition has made assumption and judgement of what they are empowered to do, or not to do. We have lived with a certain pattern in our lives which does not give way for new passions. We are judging and limiting ourselves, which does not give room to find new passions, strengths, and possibilities. The world is ours and we must allow ourselves to rid our hearts of all the old thoughts and bring in new ones. “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” Les Brown. Give yourselves permission to conquer that which holds you back.

What is your heart home to?

I am grateful that my family is alive and well

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years”.

Abraham Lincoln

I have not been inspired for awhile to write in my blog. Unfortunately, something just happened that brings me inspiration. I was going to use “I am grateful that I haven’t fell down the steps” for my gratitude entry, but that must be left for another time.

Everything happens for a reason. Everything is perfect. The Red Sox player Kevin Youkolis was ejected from a game for starting a fight with the pitcher, after hit by a ball. As you know I am an avid Red Sox fan. As angry as I was by the end of the game, we knew there was a reason on a higher level for his ejection. Jason Bay came into the game in his place and smacked in a 3 run home run. Big deal. That’s a easy one

I continuously blog that I am grateful for my family, with no definitive reason. Now I am grateful for their good health. My friend, whose son had grown up with my son, just called me with the news that her son had drowned while being in the shallow water at a beach. A huge wave came and swept him and his friend out to a current. His friends got out, but alas, he did not. He was 25.

As a coach I am supposed to be a role model at all times for my clients. This is one time that I can not. No, I can’t find find the perfection just yet. I cry for the family and my son. I just lost a close friend a few months ago and I know how painful it is.

Donnie was an extraordinary young man, who my family has known since the boys were in diapers.I guess it was his time and that is the perfection. Sometimes we don’t understand the whys, but it is all part of a bigger picture. G-d watches. This has yet to sink in for me. May He console the family in this time of unbearable grief.

I am grateful for my 28 years of marriage to my husband.

A person will be called to account on Judgment Day for every permissible thing he might have enjoyed but did not.

The Talmud

After 28 years one looks back and reflects on their marriage, their life, their achievements. How often do we look back and reflect on all the positive and enjoyable experiences that we do have? There is so much more to life then thinking in the negative. What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? It would take many blog pages to write all of my positive experiences through life, peppered with the not so positive. The lessons we can learn are a very important part of the reflection process. However, looking back and being able to allow ourselves to enjoy our positive experiences can be hard for some. We just don’t let ourselves experience joy. I wonder why we feel that we are not deserving. This is why Positive Psychology is so important for us. We have to relearn and shift our thinking patterns. I love to use exercises to build on my clients’ strengths, and  use powerful, positive imagery. Enjoying the present and future as well,  is an important balance that will lead to a healthy perspective on one’s life.

I enjoyed today thoroughly. It started with a late wake up call, coffee on the deck and the Sunday newspaper. It was a stupendously gorgeous day. (Knowing the Red Sox won the night before wasn’t too shabby either. Yes, it is the little things that count) My husband and I then packed a picnic lunch and met special friends at one of our state parks. (My children are all in NY or Baltimore which is a bit of a trip for any of us). My daughter is expecting soon and of course can’t leave the area, and my sons and their wives have different commitments. We shall see them soon anyway.

What a special day it was. I even hiked 3 miles and of course another 3 miles back, which makes 6 all together. Not the brightest part of the trip, but I did it. Stupid? Yes, as I have significant joint pain. How was I going to get back? Well, at the top I sat on a rock looking out at this magnificent view. I practiced my own imagery exercises and focused on resting. Yes, it worked; with a little help from my husband, a walking stick and G-d. Was I proud of myself? Not really. As my daughter said when she called to wish us a happy anniversary, “WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKING, AND HOW COULD DAD LET YOU DO THAT???) After a good laugh she put my 1 1/2 year old on the phone and that was all the joy I needed to get rid of the pain. Okay, some good meds and a good night sleep will cure it all. I could have been negative about the situation, but I chose t0 be positive and grateful for the opportunity to have the ability to enjoy the day with my husband and friends . Of that, I am proud. And I deserve it!!! It’s not always easy to experience this pain and not be able to fulfill my physical passions. I can be quite a qvetch at times. How much lighter I feel, and how much more appreciative I am. As my dad would say, “I am grateful for all I can do.” He is 95 and has quite a bit of limitation now. That is a story for another day.

Oh yeah, and the Red Sox won again today. Woohoo!!!!

Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. ~Conrad Hilton

I am grateful for all the blessings that God has bestowed upon my family. I don’t even know where to begin. My son had a baby, my younger son got married and my eldest will be expecting her second child in August. If  I was only given life and nothing more, I would be grateful. Life is a precious gift that we all take for granted until something happens; good or bad.

Many of us go through life buried in fear. Fear of the unknown and the empty spaces that occupy our lives. Doing a crossword puzzle, I was able to see how all the letters just fit together. Start with one and do as many as you can. You continue to fill in the blanks, and even with some help from a loved one, or a friend; even a stranger sitting next to you on the train, you will be able to convert the unknown into the known.

How can you convert fear into intention? The clearer your intention the stronger your focus. Build on that to acheive your life goals. Make sure you are always in action. Stopping can be death to your soul. Rest every now and then to refocus and regroup. Take pleasure in the small things of life.

How will you know when you have achieved your goal?

Enjoy the day!!!

I am grateful that I found my way to the coaching field for 2 reasons.

1. 1. It gives me a sense of purpose

2. 2. It helps my own perspective to shift into a more positive state of well being.

Let me first comment on the beautiful Spring day we are having today. Truly magnificent, in all of G-d’s glory. Nature was ablaze with fiery color, and returning to water aerobics after spraining my ankle (again), was the icing on the cake. I would like to reflect on the beautiful pond’s reflection minus the ducks. ( I guess they are vacationing elsewhere) Each time I go to water aerobics, which is inside a building, I stop to gaze at the pond. Gone is the inflexibility of the pond’s surface. The ice has melted. The trust that one naturally has, keeps us feeling positive that Spring will soon come and the ice will melt. However, ice is just a difference in matter. It is the same water, however it is frozen. It is still beautiful, yet in a different way. Children and adults can skate and you hear squeals of joy. What is not to trust????
However, did I trust that I would once again be back to water aerobics with my sprained ankle? Naaa, I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. It had happened again. Yet what is perfect in all of this? Why did I sprain my ankle and what is can I learn from it. Well, I asked myself, “okay coach, now what is the perfection in twisting your ankle again so close to your future daughter in law’s shower? Do I have to play?????” Well, of course the trust part of my training came out.”Come on, Ev figure it out”. I spent the week in bed still losing weight, because I ditched the prednison in favor of the pain and losing weight for the wedding of my youngest. I didn’t move and I had a shower to give the following Sunday. So, again, how can this be perfect. Ah, I know. If I had not sprained my ankle I would be running around like the energizer bunny not trusting that somehow the shower will still be beautiful. I allowed others to help, and even agreed to the offer from a friend to have it at her house. I babied that ankle like I had never done since I tore the ligaments a few months ago. I felt almost perfect at the shower, and knew that if I had not sprained it, I would be miserable. Weird psychology I know.

As I have mentioned, my youngest is getting married. The other 2 are safely, happily tucked inside of their marriage, and my 3rd is about to be. I have given over my children to someone else to care for them.

SWB (subjective well being )is huge in the field of positive psychology right now. Studies show that it really works. Those who are able to shift into a state of mindset, trusting that, yes, there will be periods of sadness and frustration. However, we can feel the positive acknowledgment taking place, that this too, is just a phase. Neither sadness nor happiness stays forever. Instead it is a delicate balance that we can be aware of. What can we learn from our setbacks and how will we use them to succeed?

There is a quote I love using: Failure is success turned inside out. Use the strengths that we discovered from our failures and turn them around in order to succeed. Here is a link which I would like to share with you. http://www.usatoday.com/money/smallbusiness/columnist/abrams/2005-03-25-failure_x.htm

In other words, trust the process. Your children are not growing away from you. However, your essence begins to shift.

In my own coach’s words, the only should is self care.Though of course when our children were small, each of us had a different perspective on the word should.

Now you have the opportunity to take advantage of the situation. Begin an exercise program, get more beauty treatments, or just take some quiet time out for yourself. You may even be looking for a different job. Recreate yourself! Have fun! Whoo whoo!!! Life is about exploration. Go to it!!!!!!

What would you do if this was the first day of the rest of your life?

On a side note. GO REDSOX!!!!!